This is a small post about how I see love, and my ideals about how it ought to be. Of course I’m still pushing myself so hard towards complementing my ideals because I know I am still way too far from reaching it. But continually I get to learn, and it is fun. My first blog post, this topic may sound awkward for a rock band member, but again, this is my conviction. So here it goes…
How do you want to be loved? Do you have fantasies of that perfect someone loving you the way you wanted it to be? Lavishing you with attention, affection and understanding that you have always wanted. It could be a wonderful moment together, walking hand in hand being in a wonderful place where everything seems to be in perfection of where they ought to be. A world for both of you.
This is our subliminal view about love. We believe that our relationships will be better if the other party would do their part. We think that a fairy tale is within reach, but first he or she must turn into that prince or princess that he/she ought to be. Some would say, “I hope he/she would be sensitive enough for what I feel” Or “I hope his/her mind was wider” then this relationship would be beautiful. Well that is right; the other party needs to do its part. But for a relationship to thrive, each has to do their part, both of you have a perfectly equal responsibility.
Now for a moment, let’s set them aside and dig deeper into our very own selves. Let’s hollow out deeper into how a relationship should be in our part of accountability. Have you asked yourself, “How do I want to love?” or “How do I become the best somebody for that someone?” We might have been expecting too much for the things we ought to have when the things we ought to be giving are not conferred well. I have bumped into some relationship issues lately, relationships that were torn apart. It’s sad to see people getting hurt but I believe that’s part of it. Weakness is certain to everyone. We all have some things that we need to surmount in our lives. Stuff that we wished we did not have. Or awful things that we didn’t even know we have. I’m telling you this, for sure both of you have those terrible bits and pieces. It’s just that most of the time we can clearly see the specks in somebody’s eyes but we fail to see the same crumbs that are covering our very own eyes.
So, I believe that the best thing to do is begin thinking about the adjustment you need to make for your relationship. You will see, as you develop yourself into a better person, the other party will begin to notice, and would probably start out to be better too. But the focus is YOU FIRST, and the fine-tuning that you must do. The best thing that could happen to people in a relationship is not the thrill, not the bliss, not even the pleasure. It is the growth of personhood and the escalation of maturity. When you become a better person in your relationship, you are gaining more than what you have expected. You are yielding something that cannot be taken away from you, character. Character is a moral-fiber that paves the way for respect and integrity. Do your best to develop that character and you will be doing a great favor to yourself and to your partner. I hope this made sense to you. Give your best to be that someone you ought to be.
